Well its time to get back to life at hand. I have been trying for a long time to figure out a way to get back to normal after losing Anna. Well there is no way to get things back to normal. Normal is gone for now. I have tried many different ways to hide, drown, cover, and make go away the thoughts of her and move on with out her in my life. Well I have come to the conclusion that life will never been the same again. I have someone that meant the world to me. She was my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. She carried me through the days with a smile on my face and a warm heart. Well my heart has been hurting since the morning of May 31st. There is no simple way to get over something like this. There is no easy way to make the pain go away. There is no way to imagine life without her here. Sometimes through the day I think of her. All night long I lay awake in bed wishing she was still here. Well I know that she will no longer be here with me or be able to share in the smiles and laughs that I have. She was the reason for my smile for a long time. And now she is the reason I cry at night. But I have also learned the she is the reason that I keep getting up in the morning and keep trying to better myself and make things right. I try to get through the days without thinking what could have or should have been. There were plans made and dreams put into play. There were hopes for the two of us. There were many talks of many plans made between us and trips planned and all the stuff that goes along with it. We had made plans on getting a house together and starting a life with just us. But now things have changed. But now the only difference is, I have to keep on with all those plans and dreams without her. I am just not sure if i can, or if I want to. We did all this together, and planned on doing all this together. I don’t think i want to do any of them without her.